Archive for the ‘amusing tales from mommyhood’ Category

And I responded…"Yep, This is my life…." (An amusing tale about my dog)

May 19, 2010

My family recently adopted an adorable 80 pound dog, we call “Big Doggie” from the Chester County SPCA. We love him! He is super sweet and adjusting very well to his new home…. well kind of, except for one little problem….keep reading.

Per the SPCA records we were told that Big Doggie spent much of his young life as an outside dog (ugh!) and didn’t spend much time with his former family in the house. When he arrived at the SPCA he was filthy dirty and his long fur was very matted. This made my husband and I very sad because he is so sweet and we knew that we could give him the life that he deserved…one that consisted of lots and lots of hugs, kisses, car rides, air conditioning, Beggin‘ Strips and frequent trips to the groomer. My husband had wanted a big dog to pal around with all of his life so he is in his glory with his new friend. My daughter and son ADORE our new addition and smooch and hug him all day long. In the short time we have had him in our care he has already experienced a whole new life. He has his own bed (inside), doggie treats and toys galore and a personal chauffeur. His tail never stops wagging…I gotta say, life is pretty good for Big Doggie these days.

During my normal everyday routine, I take my daughter to school then my son and I run our errands. Big Doggie LOVES to go for a ride in the car so after school drop off I stop at my parents house and let them dog sit while I run my errands. My parents love Big Doggie!! They live about 10 miles from me and have a huge fenced in back yard with lots of trees that he can mark and nooks & crannies for him to sniff. Their house is currently undergoing renovations so if my parents are not attending to Big Doggie’s every whim, there is usually a worker on hand to give our dog a nice rub-o-the tummy and/or treat. Visiting my parents house is kind of like a visit to a dog park, but with servants.

At home I have been walking Big Doggie on a leash several times a day and he has no trouble “marking his territory”, but seems to have a little problem when it come to “doing his business” while on a leash. He is a little shy. Which by the way, I can totally understand as I have what I call a “shy bladder”…. I can’t pee in public when people are around. No matter how bad I have to go, just can’t do it. Anyway…I was starting to get worried that Big Doggie was holding in “his business” and could end up getting sick or hurting his insides. The only time I had seen him “go” was at my parents house. At around 10PM and countless loops around my neighborhood I gave up and figured Big Doggie would just let me know later in the evening if he finally had to go or hold it til the morning (yikes).

So long story short…. I was errand free and didn’t drop Big Doggie off at my parents in the morning. So we were just taking walks around the neighborhood and in my back yard. Day two and still no business from Big Doggie. At this point I am really worried that Big Doggie was holding in “his business” because he was used to just being able to “go” whenever and where ever he wanted in his former life of an outside dog.

I walked him for an hour around my neighborhood before bed and he didn’t as much as try to “do his business”. Being the problem solver that I am, Big Doggie and I hopped into my car and drove over to my parents house so he could ” do his business” there. Within minutes of opening the fence gate he assumed the position and the business got done. I was so proud of myself… I am like the dog whisperer. I knew he was shy and that he needed to go in the big yard to feel comfortable. As I was standing there patting myself on the back…

My 16 year old brother came outside from my parents house and asked me why I was there at 9:00PM and standing in the backyard….in the dark. Without thinking anything out of the ordinary I said.. “Oh, Big Doggie needed to poop”. He said with a smirk, “okay, so let me get this straight -you drove 10 miles to our house at 9:00 at night so your dog could… poop?”. I just stood there, put my head down realizing how silly it sounded once I said it out loud, shook my head and I responded …”Yep, this is my life – I drive 10 miles from my house so my dog can poop in comfort”.

Once Big Doggie was “done” he sauntered up the hill, I opened the fence walked towards my car with Big Doggie following. I opened the back door and he jumped in, ready to be chauffeured home.

My brother stood on the deck watching…laughing hysterically saying… “Bye Miss Daisy, Good Bye!” as Big Doggie and I pulled off.

Yes…this is my life!!!

Not by the hair on my chinny, chin, chin….

January 27, 2010

So…The other day I had an itch on my chin. Not a normal spot for an itch, I know but, it was there so I scratched. While deep in scratch I felt a wirey stubble of a hair. I immediately ran to the mirror. Yep, there it was front and center. A. chin. hair. Ugh! I am only 29(and holding) how is this happening? I ran and got the tweezers and since it was so small I had to break out the magnifier mirror. After nicking away skin from failed frantic attempts to pluck my beard, I finally clamped onto it and pulled it out. I am glad to report that I am chin hair free now. I know this because I am totally obsessed now and look for it EVERYDAY!

Please tell me I am not the only one with chin hair. Do you think chin hair is like grey hair? Once you pluck it 2 will grow back? Am I going to be a bearded lady? Should I just sign up for the carny now?